Heaven or Hell

Each day that we wake up, in every moment, we are choosing. We are choosing what to do, where to go, but ultimately we are choosing how to be, how we show up in the world. We are either grateful for our breath, our body, our life, grateful for everything we already have. Or are we choosing to complain, argue, blame, and cause ourselves a living hell? Where is the fun in that? No child ever said I want to grow up and work at a job that I don't enjoy and ignore all of my dreams. Heaven is one choice away. Come thee to the kingdom of heaven, childlike. Don't "grow up" in this sense that you would be willing to sell out your souls dreams, your inner child's natural instincts, in favor of others. Be innocent again. Be reborn. Choose Heaven. Live each day full of wonder, exploration, discovery and joy. Be childlike as you soar and be more than you ever thought you could be.

Dirty Sacred Dancing

I am a dancer. I dance because it is fun. I dance to disappear into something bigger, a nothingness and everything at the same time. When I dance, a deep intimacy arises within. I am no longer afraid. My soul, my deepest most loving self is alive and pulsating with scintillating pleasure. Dirty, ecstatic and sacred dancing held in the same regard. Dance is a form of prayer for me. A form of communication with the deepest parts of myself, creator, others, and life. I dance to feel Her. To allow Her to be seen. Dancing is freedom for me.

When I dance I am a catalyst to change. Gritty, dirty, sultry dancing. Shaking off old patterns and shimming my way into a new way of being. My dancer is pure truth in form taking action. I dance to fly! To allow my soul freedom to be as it is. An uncontained expression of the divine and as I twist my hips or roll my chest I release myself into this great space. At the speed of light, a bullet train surges through me, the ultimate force, when I am surrendered to this that I am. Finding solace in my own unique originality and ability to take refuge in Her, as she takes Her course.

In the physical sense I move my body to and with music showing my appreciation for it's rhythmic and compelling nature. The beat is my master, my lover, my friend. I can count on it, despite it's need to control me. It's extended time way from a song leaves me begging for it to drop and reclaim myself. The melody and my body's longing to tell it's story leave me at times in a trance, lost without recollection of time. I love to dance lyrically and with strength, a sense of silly absurdness connected with an authentic core and essence of being. I find the physical affects to be tremendous. The breakdown of what was comfortable. A release from the exhaustion of holding tension and stress that was carried too long. A shattering of built up inertia. I love the burn in my lungs, the tears in my muscles, and the tug of nausea when I know I have danced too hard, too fast, too long. 

Mentally it can be an experience of deep contemplation. A processing and a sifting through the thoughts that no longer serve. A meditative experience that envelopes me in peace. I can easily release the past, ignore the anxiety of the future, and find myself home, in the here and now.  In the spiritual sense, dancing gives me space to be as I am, to unfold, giving form to my own divine self. When I lose my center completely, unable to find a point of reference and allow the great mystery to flow through in expression, I feel the most free and connected.  

Dance allows us to merge, integrate and unify our hearts. It crosses all borders, boundaries and lines of separation. Dancing creates flow, synchronicity and aligns us with the highest. Each of us dancers,  pieces, to the whole of the collaboration, a part of the choreography of life. It brings us together. As we have faith in the ultimate choreographer, creator, and partner, and dance with all of our heart, we demonstrate the holist of work, surrender.

Once we learn to dance alone we can begin to move in alignment with another being that promises to listen to the music that guides and will hold us in the essence of our truth. Our aloneness serving as a bond of silence that we will never hold against each other. That we may feel free to dance when we are moved to and be in faith in the space between dances. It creates a bond, an understanding that if I step on your toe it's simply apart of our dance and we'll keep dancing. We can begin to experience and feel this non-verbal communication of our souls moving in continuity to the melody the mystery has created for us, our very own song.

This is the dance I want to dance together whenever we are near so that even apart I will be with you and you with me, a place called home, what our souls long for. As we dance, step to step, from moment to moment, our movement permeates everything. I will feel the vibration of your breath as it touches your face and the penetration of your exhale as it enters my lungs. Dance with me when I grieve, and when I sleep, and when I have had an incredible day. In the rain while we play as if almost in liquid fluidity. In the silence, or the time between steps, you can easily find me. Our loving, sweet nature allowing us to experience each other as we do ourselves. As one. It is the dance of love, truth, bliss, and intimacy.

Will you dance with me? And be the guardian of my solitude?

Revealing My Inner Yogi

Yoga teacher training here I come! This last week I made the decision to embark on the journey to becoming a certified yoga teacher. An intense 200 hours in 16 days on a desert retreat. I have been taking yoga classes for almost 20 years and have often considered teaching it as a way to earn income. However the decision to participate this time comes from somewhere much deeper. It comes from a need to test myself. I'm ready to take a journey deep into my body and into a deeper understanding of my soul.

This is the largest investment I have made in myself in long time. I have been researching the vast array of yoga schools and traditions available here in LA for the last year but somehow the timing, the teachers, the school hasn't been quite right until now. At first I almost allowed a scheduling conflict to deter me until I heard a little voice that said "there's a way." Putting the deposit down as a first step was actually quite easy as most things are when it is time.

It's very precarious to me that I have never attended a class at this particular school, met any of the teachers or heard anything from anyone ever about it. Yet, there it was, a small ad that caught my soul's attention and after reading everything on the school's website I knew it felt right. After some dialogue through email with the office manager and a conversation to ask for the assistance with scheduling I would need to make it possible, I made the choice.

A choice to know more about myself.  I have spent the majority of my time in the spiritual arena almost avoiding the body and as a dancer it's kind of mysterious. Focusing more on meditation and the mind than the body has allowed me to spiritually bypass for awhile now. However my soul has made it's needs know to be completely embodied in this way and I want to support this movement as much as possible. Self-mastery, Innate harmony, a release into the Truth, a devotion to Unconditioned Love are the themes of this new beginning.

I plan on sharing my journey with all of you through this blog as a testament to the process. I welcome you to join me!

Namaste, Sat Nam, Om Tat Sat!

The many expressions of spiritual awakening

There are many expressions of spiritual awakening. Many different cycles or periods of time in which spirit expresses itself. I hear people talk about "The" spiritual path as if there is only one or it happens in some linear way. That it must follow a certain order for it to be authentic or useful. I have found for myself that there is not only more than one path but that at any given time and not always in a particular pattern or chronological order, it can change from one to another.

Spirtual awakening doesn't need to look a particular way. Doesn't need to go according to some prescribed plan or depend on how close to a guru you are in order for it to be authentic. At times we find ourselves in close contact with a teacher, dedicated to a particular teaching. At others we find a period of isolation full of detachment lessons. This period being just as important for new things to grow, further expansion or for moving into more loving relationships with others. Both expressions are of the divine. Both create opportunities for more understanding of our true nature. Both are the path. It's the path no matter what it looks like and having access to this perspective throughout, makes the journey more enjoyable.

There will be periods of struggle. There will be those times when you are in the flow and can easily witness the beauty around you only to find struggle again in the next moment. There will be loss. A lot of it. As most of the spiritual unfolding is really a shedding of that which is no longer true. Expressions of difficult people or partners will come along to teach you to be more loving even in difficult situations.

We always get what we need. The people, the situation, the cycles of learning and practicing that we need to take the next step in our spiritual awakening. We only need to see them for what they are. Perceive them as the beautiful lessons we have asked for and no longer as "back tracking" or "losing your way" worries.

In recognizing the many cycles, waves of spiritual bliss and suffering, honoring them, allowing each one to be as it may without needing to change it. When we can slip into flow that extends into every aspect of life, we can begin to see our perceptions and can then shift them away from a view of suffering to a view of the truth.

You are right where you are supposed to be on YOUR path. Your path is going to look different than your girlfriends, your teachers or your partners. Its going to twist and turn and make sharp right hand turns and complete 360s many different times. At times you will think you are right back where you started or that is has all been for not and I gently remind you that in those moments to trust yourself. Trust that you are growing, learning and awakening to who and what you really are. Trust the source of life to continue giving you exactly what you need and nothing less. Trust that this too is the path, that you are co-creating with your highest self, to lead you home. Home sweet home.

What you focus on expands.

I saw a quote the other day that said you can focus on your problems or your blessings whichever one you choose expands. It's simply the law of attraction. Whatever it is you focus on you will attract and it will grow exponentially.

 

If you want more problems focus on them and if you enjoy abundant blessings be grateful and spend time in that space. It's really that simple. We are the masters of our own destiny. We co-create with the source of life. We can believe in this, bring to ourselves more love and joy, or we can play victim that life is just happening to us,  that we have no control over what happens to us.

 

I personally prefer the first and have found it to be true over and over again. I know God will not bring me things that are not in alignment with my heart.  I have so many times thought that something was, desired it greatly, only later to discover that it wasn't for me and wouldn't have made me happy. Thank God it didn't work out. It would have prevented the good that was waiting for me on the other side of disappointment.  To think you know better than what has created you is ego insanity.

 

When life unfolds in a meaningful rich way,  it is then that I can begin to see how everything really had worked perfectly to get me to this place of peace. Holding the faith through each test and being grateful was the magic key. It is only by faith in this unseen guidance that we can get there. Being grateful to be alive,  aware you are able to breathe and your heart beats without help on your part, these are what everyone has to be grateful for. We can be in gratitude for life and more life will expand. We can be grateful to be loved by at least one person even if it's your mom and love will expand. But if you spend your energy being a victim to life and blaming your problems on creation then you guessed it,  more problems, more victimizing will occur.

 

This is the decision we are making moment to moment. Heaven or hell? Suffering in "what's not going right" according to you or enjoying what you do have, it's your choice. This is where your free will gives you power. You can work with love to create more love or you can argue against what is and get more mess.

 

Believing that I was made to live a good life and that my creator loves me enough to provide it is what brings the good to me. Feeling sad about loss or not having a place to put my love does nothing to help me out of this place but extends the time I must deal with it. Being mindful of my thoughts and what I am doing with emotion is helping me build heaven right here on earth.

 

The vibrational frequency of love attracts love. I only wish to be in love with the 10,000 things because it feels good and from that I attract more love from life. However, my happiness isn't then dependent on others or circumstances because my personal foundation is already in place that no one can take away from me. This is the kind of love I hope for everyone. Agape. An outpouring of love that comes from within and isn't in need of anything back. A deep self love that isn't dependent on outside situations or worried about having a partner or good job or anything. A true knowing of what you are that is one with all of life.

 

This is the good that can expand in all of our lives because we are it, deserve it, worth it, and so shall receive it. Have faith and monitor your emotions to be conscious that you are expanding your life in the direction of your dreams.

 

Namaste

Doing nothing

My teacher Adyashanti always says when you don't know what to do, do nothing. This advice had always resonated with me on an energetic level but my mind couldn't understand how to implement this because it leaves it out of the equation completely. However, the more that I have heeded these words of wisdom the more I have realized that something is always moving me and that there is a huge relief when I can get out of my own way and allow myself to be moved purely by this force.

So no planning hunh? Really? I kept asking myself. No frantic research to gather further information to make a better decision with?  No searching for the next thing,  job, relationship? Yes!  He said do nothing. My poor little mind continued. How can I do nothing when there is so much to do? I can't see the solution so how then will this happen?
 

Now for an A type personality like myself this has been my greatest challenge. I mean we're talking about the woman who who worked full time, went to school full time, was married and had a young son. Who also at the same time danced in a performance group and had a full social calendar. I know half the women reading this can relate to this "go until drop" mentality that the rat race has instilled in us." Be the best. Do more." I kept hearing from everyone and through people's social media status updates. I thought surely I can do more I always have, but the higher self kept reminding me and not always gently, just relax, do less.
 

I would be working one job,  get another job so I could save up and the first job would unexpectedly end or I would be fired for something silly. Being forced into bed from three kidney stone procedures. The material things I was attached to like my phones and computers broke or my car ended up totaled.  These type of things kept happening until I was forced to stop, was left with only myself and had no choice but to look at who I was being in world.
 

After seeing the needed changes and watching my world begin to crumble I was left doing, well not much of anything. So with lots of time and no distractions I began noticing a few things. First that I didn't really miss going so fast. Phew, if I wasn't caught up too much in my head worrying about the outcome,  I kind of enjoyed being "lazy." I also began to really like myself. Enjoying my own company so much that it became the preferred company to almost any other offer. But the thing I really noticed in these forced moments of pause, was that all of my needs and those of my children, in every instant were being met despite what my mind had told me would happen if I became unemployed or didn't have a car to go to work.
 

I still couldn't help but peruse through Craigslist and send off as many resumes as possible as it was all I knew how to do but ultimately the connection needed for the new job would come to me through a friend at a gathering or at the coffee shop making me realize what a waste of good meditation time I had spent on trying to make it happen. It seemed that the law of attraction might be actually working in my life and that my requests from the universe to "bring to me a good job" were being fulfilled and I could have trust in that. It wasn't selfish to enjoy more time in peaceful meditation, but needed to prepare me for the new job. Frantically scouring for something to fill up space out of nervous anxiety wasn't helping me but actually working against what was being offered as a gift of rest.
 

In this place of observing and continually noticing how even when things didn't seem to work out, they still did somehow, I gathered more confidence in this guidance. My faith deepened and my courage became stronger to trust myself. I can now enjoy this beautiful new relationship I have with myself that can't ever be taken away.
 

If keeping up with the Jones or the Kardashians has gotten us into this mess of perception that we must always be doing something in order to "keep up" then it seems doing the opposite,  not trying so hard,  would counter balance it. It seems that if we at the very least slowed down more often,  took a little more time in between things, mediated more,  and made more time for our loved ones, we would enjoy life more. We won't need to continue suffering in unnatural striving and stress. Doing nothing when you don't know what to do won't be just another idea to entertain, a practice to master but will be the guide to show the way to an embodiment of something more meaningful.
 

Have fun doing nothing!!!

Reflections of Love

They say that everything we encounter in life is a mirror reflecting ourselves back to us. That what we see in another is what we inherently have within us. We notice someone is beautiful because we are beautiful the same as if we notice how inconsiderate someone is being, yes as hard as it can be to see at the time, we are somehow feeling inconsiderate in our own way. 

So as I sat last night and took in all that surrounded me, I realized, I am stunning. I am piercingly creative, painfully beautiful, and eloquently inspiring. I can know these things about myself because of the divine beings that invited me in, shared their gifts and willingly shined so that I could see these things within me. Love is here. In a big way. The love mob isn't just an organization heaven bent on love. It is who we are. It's you. It's family remembered and reunited. We are here and now. 

If you live in Los Angeles you can attend the upcoming event called "The Beat," an interactive musical jam session that will be on Thursday, August 15, at 7:00 downtown. Clear your calendar, grab your instrument, your voice, go, and prepare to be moved. Details at the link below. Your welcome!

The BEAT

If you haven't yet watched a video or checked out our facebook, twitter, youtube or instagram page please use the following links to do so and like or subscribe if you feel called. Each of us are all so very different, expressing the divine in our own unique ways but the one thing we all have in common is love. We all just want to be love, to give love, to receive love and we get to. Come home to yourself, to the light, and let your life be lived in love. It really feels so good. #lovesvoice #lovemob

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