Revealing My Inner Yogi

Yoga teacher training here I come! This last week I made the decision to embark on the journey to becoming a certified yoga teacher. An intense 200 hours in 16 days on a desert retreat. I have been taking yoga classes for almost 20 years and have often considered teaching it as a way to earn income. However the decision to participate this time comes from somewhere much deeper. It comes from a need to test myself. I'm ready to take a journey deep into my body and into a deeper understanding of my soul.

This is the largest investment I have made in myself in long time. I have been researching the vast array of yoga schools and traditions available here in LA for the last year but somehow the timing, the teachers, the school hasn't been quite right until now. At first I almost allowed a scheduling conflict to deter me until I heard a little voice that said "there's a way." Putting the deposit down as a first step was actually quite easy as most things are when it is time.

It's very precarious to me that I have never attended a class at this particular school, met any of the teachers or heard anything from anyone ever about it. Yet, there it was, a small ad that caught my soul's attention and after reading everything on the school's website I knew it felt right. After some dialogue through email with the office manager and a conversation to ask for the assistance with scheduling I would need to make it possible, I made the choice.

A choice to know more about myself.  I have spent the majority of my time in the spiritual arena almost avoiding the body and as a dancer it's kind of mysterious. Focusing more on meditation and the mind than the body has allowed me to spiritually bypass for awhile now. However my soul has made it's needs know to be completely embodied in this way and I want to support this movement as much as possible. Self-mastery, Innate harmony, a release into the Truth, a devotion to Unconditioned Love are the themes of this new beginning.

I plan on sharing my journey with all of you through this blog as a testament to the process. I welcome you to join me!

Namaste, Sat Nam, Om Tat Sat!

The many expressions of spiritual awakening

There are many expressions of spiritual awakening. Many different cycles or periods of time in which spirit expresses itself. I hear people talk about "The" spiritual path as if there is only one or it happens in some linear way. That it must follow a certain order for it to be authentic or useful. I have found for myself that there is not only more than one path but that at any given time and not always in a particular pattern or chronological order, it can change from one to another.

Spirtual awakening doesn't need to look a particular way. Doesn't need to go according to some prescribed plan or depend on how close to a guru you are in order for it to be authentic. At times we find ourselves in close contact with a teacher, dedicated to a particular teaching. At others we find a period of isolation full of detachment lessons. This period being just as important for new things to grow, further expansion or for moving into more loving relationships with others. Both expressions are of the divine. Both create opportunities for more understanding of our true nature. Both are the path. It's the path no matter what it looks like and having access to this perspective throughout, makes the journey more enjoyable.

There will be periods of struggle. There will be those times when you are in the flow and can easily witness the beauty around you only to find struggle again in the next moment. There will be loss. A lot of it. As most of the spiritual unfolding is really a shedding of that which is no longer true. Expressions of difficult people or partners will come along to teach you to be more loving even in difficult situations.

We always get what we need. The people, the situation, the cycles of learning and practicing that we need to take the next step in our spiritual awakening. We only need to see them for what they are. Perceive them as the beautiful lessons we have asked for and no longer as "back tracking" or "losing your way" worries.

In recognizing the many cycles, waves of spiritual bliss and suffering, honoring them, allowing each one to be as it may without needing to change it. When we can slip into flow that extends into every aspect of life, we can begin to see our perceptions and can then shift them away from a view of suffering to a view of the truth.

You are right where you are supposed to be on YOUR path. Your path is going to look different than your girlfriends, your teachers or your partners. Its going to twist and turn and make sharp right hand turns and complete 360s many different times. At times you will think you are right back where you started or that is has all been for not and I gently remind you that in those moments to trust yourself. Trust that you are growing, learning and awakening to who and what you really are. Trust the source of life to continue giving you exactly what you need and nothing less. Trust that this too is the path, that you are co-creating with your highest self, to lead you home. Home sweet home.

What you focus on expands.

I saw a quote the other day that said you can focus on your problems or your blessings whichever one you choose expands. It's simply the law of attraction. Whatever it is you focus on you will attract and it will grow exponentially.

 

If you want more problems focus on them and if you enjoy abundant blessings be grateful and spend time in that space. It's really that simple. We are the masters of our own destiny. We co-create with the source of life. We can believe in this, bring to ourselves more love and joy, or we can play victim that life is just happening to us,  that we have no control over what happens to us.

 

I personally prefer the first and have found it to be true over and over again. I know God will not bring me things that are not in alignment with my heart.  I have so many times thought that something was, desired it greatly, only later to discover that it wasn't for me and wouldn't have made me happy. Thank God it didn't work out. It would have prevented the good that was waiting for me on the other side of disappointment.  To think you know better than what has created you is ego insanity.

 

When life unfolds in a meaningful rich way,  it is then that I can begin to see how everything really had worked perfectly to get me to this place of peace. Holding the faith through each test and being grateful was the magic key. It is only by faith in this unseen guidance that we can get there. Being grateful to be alive,  aware you are able to breathe and your heart beats without help on your part, these are what everyone has to be grateful for. We can be in gratitude for life and more life will expand. We can be grateful to be loved by at least one person even if it's your mom and love will expand. But if you spend your energy being a victim to life and blaming your problems on creation then you guessed it,  more problems, more victimizing will occur.

 

This is the decision we are making moment to moment. Heaven or hell? Suffering in "what's not going right" according to you or enjoying what you do have, it's your choice. This is where your free will gives you power. You can work with love to create more love or you can argue against what is and get more mess.

 

Believing that I was made to live a good life and that my creator loves me enough to provide it is what brings the good to me. Feeling sad about loss or not having a place to put my love does nothing to help me out of this place but extends the time I must deal with it. Being mindful of my thoughts and what I am doing with emotion is helping me build heaven right here on earth.

 

The vibrational frequency of love attracts love. I only wish to be in love with the 10,000 things because it feels good and from that I attract more love from life. However, my happiness isn't then dependent on others or circumstances because my personal foundation is already in place that no one can take away from me. This is the kind of love I hope for everyone. Agape. An outpouring of love that comes from within and isn't in need of anything back. A deep self love that isn't dependent on outside situations or worried about having a partner or good job or anything. A true knowing of what you are that is one with all of life.

 

This is the good that can expand in all of our lives because we are it, deserve it, worth it, and so shall receive it. Have faith and monitor your emotions to be conscious that you are expanding your life in the direction of your dreams.

 

Namaste

Doing nothing

My teacher Adyashanti always says when you don't know what to do, do nothing. This advice had always resonated with me on an energetic level but my mind couldn't understand how to implement this because it leaves it out of the equation completely. However, the more that I have heeded these words of wisdom the more I have realized that something is always moving me and that there is a huge relief when I can get out of my own way and allow myself to be moved purely by this force.

So no planning hunh? Really? I kept asking myself. No frantic research to gather further information to make a better decision with?  No searching for the next thing,  job, relationship? Yes!  He said do nothing. My poor little mind continued. How can I do nothing when there is so much to do? I can't see the solution so how then will this happen?
 

Now for an A type personality like myself this has been my greatest challenge. I mean we're talking about the woman who who worked full time, went to school full time, was married and had a young son. Who also at the same time danced in a performance group and had a full social calendar. I know half the women reading this can relate to this "go until drop" mentality that the rat race has instilled in us." Be the best. Do more." I kept hearing from everyone and through people's social media status updates. I thought surely I can do more I always have, but the higher self kept reminding me and not always gently, just relax, do less.
 

I would be working one job,  get another job so I could save up and the first job would unexpectedly end or I would be fired for something silly. Being forced into bed from three kidney stone procedures. The material things I was attached to like my phones and computers broke or my car ended up totaled.  These type of things kept happening until I was forced to stop, was left with only myself and had no choice but to look at who I was being in world.
 

After seeing the needed changes and watching my world begin to crumble I was left doing, well not much of anything. So with lots of time and no distractions I began noticing a few things. First that I didn't really miss going so fast. Phew, if I wasn't caught up too much in my head worrying about the outcome,  I kind of enjoyed being "lazy." I also began to really like myself. Enjoying my own company so much that it became the preferred company to almost any other offer. But the thing I really noticed in these forced moments of pause, was that all of my needs and those of my children, in every instant were being met despite what my mind had told me would happen if I became unemployed or didn't have a car to go to work.
 

I still couldn't help but peruse through Craigslist and send off as many resumes as possible as it was all I knew how to do but ultimately the connection needed for the new job would come to me through a friend at a gathering or at the coffee shop making me realize what a waste of good meditation time I had spent on trying to make it happen. It seemed that the law of attraction might be actually working in my life and that my requests from the universe to "bring to me a good job" were being fulfilled and I could have trust in that. It wasn't selfish to enjoy more time in peaceful meditation, but needed to prepare me for the new job. Frantically scouring for something to fill up space out of nervous anxiety wasn't helping me but actually working against what was being offered as a gift of rest.
 

In this place of observing and continually noticing how even when things didn't seem to work out, they still did somehow, I gathered more confidence in this guidance. My faith deepened and my courage became stronger to trust myself. I can now enjoy this beautiful new relationship I have with myself that can't ever be taken away.
 

If keeping up with the Jones or the Kardashians has gotten us into this mess of perception that we must always be doing something in order to "keep up" then it seems doing the opposite,  not trying so hard,  would counter balance it. It seems that if we at the very least slowed down more often,  took a little more time in between things, mediated more,  and made more time for our loved ones, we would enjoy life more. We won't need to continue suffering in unnatural striving and stress. Doing nothing when you don't know what to do won't be just another idea to entertain, a practice to master but will be the guide to show the way to an embodiment of something more meaningful.
 

Have fun doing nothing!!!

Reflections of Love

They say that everything we encounter in life is a mirror reflecting ourselves back to us. That what we see in another is what we inherently have within us. We notice someone is beautiful because we are beautiful the same as if we notice how inconsiderate someone is being, yes as hard as it can be to see at the time, we are somehow feeling inconsiderate in our own way. 

So as I sat last night and took in all that surrounded me, I realized, I am stunning. I am piercingly creative, painfully beautiful, and eloquently inspiring. I can know these things about myself because of the divine beings that invited me in, shared their gifts and willingly shined so that I could see these things within me. Love is here. In a big way. The love mob isn't just an organization heaven bent on love. It is who we are. It's you. It's family remembered and reunited. We are here and now. 

If you live in Los Angeles you can attend the upcoming event called "The Beat," an interactive musical jam session that will be on Thursday, August 15, at 7:00 downtown. Clear your calendar, grab your instrument, your voice, go, and prepare to be moved. Details at the link below. Your welcome!

The BEAT

If you haven't yet watched a video or checked out our facebook, twitter, youtube or instagram page please use the following links to do so and like or subscribe if you feel called. Each of us are all so very different, expressing the divine in our own unique ways but the one thing we all have in common is love. We all just want to be love, to give love, to receive love and we get to. Come home to yourself, to the light, and let your life be lived in love. It really feels so good. #lovesvoice #lovemob

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Life of Star

At the age of 24 I had things. A lot of things including a beautiful home and a new convertible Benz. I was married to my high school sweet heart and we had two little boys. I ran a successful insurance company fresh out business school. We took vacations, and bought what we wanted. We had achieved the American Dream. And yet there it was, the truth, I hated my life.

I came from very little except a wealth of deep of wisdom in my mother, that sprang forth despite her circumstances, leaving me with the seeds that would ultimately bloom later. My father had taught me how to live in “reality.” He kept telling me reality was going to slap me across the face one day so I listened to his well intentioned advice to avoid this but in the end he was right. An enchanted little girls dreams shattered when I realized she had been told lies. That having things and money meant happiness. That living with someone that doesn’t make your heart sing everyday was duty because “you're married.”

I had always believed that if I could do it so could everyone else. I believed if you worked hard enough you could have what you want and need just like most people still do. I sat in judgment of those who couldn’t seem to get it together as I compared them to me.

But somewhere inside me was a deep unhappiness. Constantly stressed about work, falling behind on bills or losing all that I had attained. My reputation and image possibly tarnished by falling into bad credit or a lack of enough credit to cover up this insecurity. I was dying inside. Wanting only to be loved, to be appreciated and surrounded by goodness, it seemed instead I never really felt any of that. Not by others and definitely not by myself.

I knew there had to be something more. I had no relationship with a higher power. Only half-admitted that there might be one and calling it God wasn’t going to work for me. Somehow, although unconscious at the time, I was asking for more truth. In a moment of despair I asked questions that changed everything. What was this really all about for me? Why was I born? Because like Oprah, at a very early age I knew I was born to do great things.

It was only years later that I understood that God was gracious enough to come into my life at that moment showing me what was needed and what wasn't so I could be whole. You can be sure that the things went away and so did the car. The so-called friends and caring relatives also had to go, a few in one day. Then the husband in a fit of his own unhappiness, freed us from our cage. We were separated a month later and the spiritual journey back to myself was begun.

I was set on fire. My world was turned upside down. Everything I thought I knew was becoming more and more unclear. God removed all that didn't belong to me so I could sit with that which is. It took me several years to see this for the amazing gift it was. I first believed I had failed. I had done something seriously wrong even though I was beginning to feel a lot better, despite the chaos.

I have had to make huge sacrifices on levels that most would never consider in order to find my salvation, mostly because I was too stubborn to let go of the past willingly. Despite this I am redirected and perfectly guided at every turn. Protected and provided with everything I actually needed to live and I learned that this was in fact very little. I need only a backpack of things as many things weigh you down and cause worry. A car had kept me in constant isolation whereas the bus and the train allowed me to meet wonderful new friends and spend more quality time with my children. I learned that not everyone is like me and can’t do things in the way I do them. That because of this we all must have separate paths to walk and how boring it is when we all attempt to walk the same one. I learned that happiness breeds happiness and it started within me. Loving myself was the basis for all good living. That vulnerability wasn’t in fact a weakness but an opportunity to grow and sustain greatness. 

I had to basically unlearn all that had been taught. Like a phoenix I had to burn into nothingness in order for me to begin to rise again in an authentic way. A way that comes from my heart and not the predetermined order of society.  A way that inspires and uplifts the masses to love and gives permission to others to find their own truth. I am still a work in progress and the journey still continues but I walk slower with faith that I am loved more than I could possibly imagine and that gives me great strength to continue.  

Nature my teacher

Sounds of Waves

kiss the beach

Murmur of exhalation

as our Beloved breathes

Particles gather together

Welled up by love

To make a wave

On a beach far away

Nothing is ever separate

Not seemingly so isolate

In love we eternally fornicate

A copulate to procreate

Breast milk before a babe

Finances before deed

To do before bloom

Is to plant a little seed

Nature my teacher

revealing my essence

allows me to see

Im surrounded by blessings