Today I wake up with doubt about a woman I held great respect for. As I have lived and grown it has come before when someone I believed in, was not who I thought that they were. A consequence of a narcissistic society that allows false and harmful information to be propagated with no course correction. All of us left in doubt as to who can be trusted. Who can we know for sure holds our best interest? Was justice Ginsburg a woman of moral integrity or a secret enabler of corruption? Was justice Ginsburg the shero I believed her to be or only another pawn used by patriarchy to encourage woman to play by men's rules?
Were her efforts heroic or will we look
back in 40 years and be resentful of such woman that pushed us to be like men?
Forced us by way of example to fit into men’s systems, laws and rules that
never included us to begin with? I am assured she lies somewhere in the middle.
A human can not be summarized by only one story. There are many sides to a person’s
life and I wonder what the other side of the story is for justice Ginsburg
given the timing and nature of her passing right before the election.
Her life today is to be
celebrated. What a feat for anyone. If you ever watched the movie “on the basis
of sex,” you know what an inspiring story of not only a Harvard lawyer graduate
but of a mother who did it with a toddler and the beautiful love she shared
with her husband. The sacrifices she made cannot and should not be
ignored.
However, I sit in
question of the responses from women and feminist pages today in remorse.
Seeing the dialogue. The comments. The conspiracies that range in variety and an
almost blind eye to what they are communicating. Is it possible that this was a
cover up or a staged event just in time for an election or indeed a natural
cause of death? She died on a significant holiday for Jews called Rosh
Hashanah. The timing of her death right before the election leaves me with questions. Was she only one of ‘them’
after all?
I don't require answers
to these questions now as I know they will reveal themselves in time, but this
is my take away today from these events. Her way is not my way. What she did, I
do not need to do. Do I admire what she did? Sure, of course. Women did what
they needed to do to survive in a man's world. Played his game, got their level
of education, climbed their ladders, learned their rules, made a few new ones
and left women of the world with what exactly? Is her model, her way of living,
her accomplishments what all little girls should strive for? If you ask many
feminists, they will insist that we must get our needs met.
Is that true? Haven't
women been fighting tooth and nail for many years for basic human rights of
bodily autonomy only to have that now challenged again by the trump, republican
administration? Do they have even the right to make a law about a woman’s body
and if so don’t women break their laws anyways to get their needs met? Does
this force them into an unsafe situation, of course. But what do men really
know about this and why did women give them permission to tell us if it was OK
or not in the first place? We give them permission by fighting against it,
agree to it, validate it by participating in just the attempt to ‘resolve’ these
unjust laws.
My point is this:
This photo was shared on
a feminist page reminding 17,000 women what little girls should aspire to be. To be a
feminist, a woman should aspire to a man’s rank in his institutions? Is this worth our daughters efforts, time, and energy?
To fit into a man's box, his definitions and guidelines? To do things the way
he designed and continue to exist and fight within patriarchy for handouts?
Crumbs? Favors? Like the millions of ancestresses that came before us have for
the last 7000 years attempting to reclaim equity? Think they tried hard? Worked
hard? And how far are we really from where the women’s movement began?
To be better than men so
we can outdo them and win at all costs? Why do women play this game?
Sacrificing our time
with our children and our beloved, less love making, to make men’s laws more
just is our purpose? Did she serve women and girls or give us a false target to
aim for? Because the truth is, after all those years of 'service' women are not
much better off, still no era or even close to being paid equally, and are not in
charge to make the needed changes our world needs.
After joining many women's
group, feminist organizations and aligning with female political agendas I felt
defeated. Only more of the same and the quick attempt to put women who disagree
with their ideas back into their place, not let them take up space as they
claim. I found more masculine operating principles and new ways we can 'fit in'
to the current system, as it is. How many times I heard, "because this is
the way it is," "This is how we do things," "This is a
woman's way forward," I couldn’t hide my cringe any longer. Is it? I beg
to disagree.
I beg to argue that
women like justice Ginsburg, did a great disservice to women and girls, despite
my love for her, because she did not show us anything new or create anything
new for women. She learned to fit in well. She did it their way and was not
even hired after graduation. Instead of starting her own practice with her
coveted Harvard degree, find other woman to work with in the same position,
pioneer her own practice to fight injustices against women, she worked for the
man, waited patiently for him to offer her an opening into their world. She
could have used that intellect and wisdom, tenacity, hard work, for herself,
for her daughter and the girls of the world. But instead she made deals with
the devil, fought her whole life in a white males world....for what? To be remembered
a shero by patriarchy for her service to it? What is her true legacy I wonder
today.
I know her presence
empowered women to get out of complacency and care about important societal issues,
to feel empowered to boldly move into government, policy and law making and for
some that was needed. I've considered law school since I was 12. But the truth
is I loved being a mother which came first. I loved the time in between things,
the rest, the self-love that one finds in peace. I could never put that second
best to trying to get just right and maybe come away with a few small victories.
I trust women could make a bigger difference being woman than trying to outdo
men or meet them on their level. Maybe this is why there is such a push
for it from even the most admired feminists. To take us out of our element, our
true nature, to be on a ‘level’ playing field with men. Maybe this push is why
women haven’t achieved more for ourselves, our children and Gaia. Maybe this
push is more patriarchy in a pretty dress and makeup. And maybe it is in our
best interest to at least question these motives instead of doing the way it
has always been done.
I trust that if women
created their own rules and found a sisterhood to support them, we would all be
better off. The rules and laws of men, the patriarchal system we inherited is
not our responsibility to uphold or fix. Men got it very wrong, some of it on
purpose to hold us down, to destroy the environment. Why would we participate
in it that all? Why wouldn't we take back our power from trying to get it right
for them and claim our own sanctuaries to exist within? What would it be like
if little girls looked up to wild women that blazed their own trails, that
never could be tamed by the same principles that tamed justice Ginsburg but
women in their female, wise woman power? A woman that does it her own way and
shows new possibilities that does not include selling ourselves out by way of
giving our power to old structures.
This is more than
possible, it is happening right underneath the surface of these old dreams. A
bubbling up of a new beginning where women and children are centered and peace
is protected by women’s designs, plans, and way of living. That is the needed
balance. That is the way forward.
Thank you justice
Ginsburg for allowing your life to serve as a catalyst for this understanding
within me. I honor your life and your presence in mine.
