Sunday, August 4, 2013

Doing nothing

My teacher Adyashanti always says when you don't know what to do, do nothing. This advice had always resonated with me on an energetic level but my mind couldn't understand how to implement this because it leaves it out of the equation completely. However, the more that I have heeded these words of wisdom the more I have realized that something is always moving me and that there is a huge relief when I can get out of my own way and allow myself to be moved purely by this force.
So no planning hunh? Really? I kept asking myself. No frantic research to gather further information to make a better decision with?  No searching for the next thing,  job, relationship? Yes!  He said do nothing. My poor little mind continued. How can I do nothing when there is so much to do? I can't see the solution so how then will this happen?
Now for an A type personality like myself this has been my greatest challenge. I mean we're talking about the woman who who worked full time, went to school full time, was married and had a young son. Who also at the same time danced in a performance group and had a full social calendar. I know half the women reading this can relate to this "go until drop" mentality that the rat race has instilled in us." Be the best. Do more." I kept hearing from everyone and through people's social media status updates. I thought surely I can do more I always have, but the higher self kept reminding me and not always gently, just relax, do less.
I would be working one job,  get another job so I could save up and the first job would unexpectedly end or I would be fired for something silly. Being forced into bed from three kidney stone procedures. The material things I was attached to like my phones and computers broke or my car ended up totaled.  These type of things kept happening until I was forced to stop, was left with only myself and had no choice but to look at who I was being in world.
After seeing the needed changes and watching my world begin to crumble I was left doing, well not much of anything. So with lots of time and no distractions I began noticing a few things. First that I didn't really miss going so fast. Phew, if I wasn't caught up too much in my head worrying about the outcome,  I kind of enjoyed being "lazy." I also began to really like myself. Enjoying my own company so much that it became the preferred company to almost any other offer. But the thing I really noticed in these forced moments of pause, was that all of my needs and those of my children, in every instant were being met despite what my mind had told me would happen if I became unemployed or didn't have a car to go to work.
I still couldn't help but peruse through Craigslist and send off as many resumes as possible as it was all I knew how to do but ultimately the connection needed for the new job would come to me through a friend at a gathering or at the coffee shop making me realize what a waste of good meditation time I had spent on trying to make it happen. It seemed that the law of attraction might be actually working in my life and that my requests from the universe to "bring to me a good job" were being fulfilled and I could have trust in that. It wasn't selfish to enjoy more time in peaceful meditation, but needed to prepare me for the new job. Frantically scouring for something to fill up space out of nervous anxiety wasn't helping me but actually working against what was being offered as a gift of rest.
In this place of observing and continually noticing how even when things didn't seem to work out, they still did somehow, I gathered more confidence in this guidance. My faith deepened and my courage became stronger to trust myself. I can now enjoy this beautiful new relationship I have with myself that can't ever be taken away.
If keeping up with the Jones or the Kardashians has gotten us into this mess of perception that we must always be doing something in order to "keep up" then it seems doing the opposite,  not trying so hard,  would counter balance it. It seems that if we at the very least slowed down more often,  took a little more time in between things, mediated more,  and made more time for our loved ones, we would enjoy life more. We won't need to continue suffering in unnatural striving and stress. Doing nothing when you don't know what to do won't be just another idea to entertain, a practice to master but will be the guide to show the way to an embodiment of something more meaningful.
Have fun doing nothing!!!

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Reflections of Love

They say that everything we encounter in life is a mirror reflecting ourselves back to us. That what we see in another is what we inherently have within us. We notice someone is beautiful because we are beautiful the same as if we notice how inconsiderate someone is being, yes as hard as it can be to see at the time, we are somehow feeling inconsiderate in our own way. 

So as I sat last night and took in all that surrounded me, I realized, I am stunning. I am piercingly creative, painfully beautiful, and eloquently inspiring. I can know these things about myself because of the divine beings that invited me in, shared their gifts and willingly shined so that I could see these things within me. Love is here. In a big way. The love mob isn't just an organization heaven bent on love. It is who we are. It's you. It's family remembered and reunited. We are here and now. 

If you live in Los Angeles you can attend the upcoming event called "The Beat," an interactive musical jam session that will be on Thursday, August 15, at 7:00 downtown. Clear your calendar, grab your instrument, your voice, go, and prepare to be moved. Details at the link below. Your welcome!

If you haven't yet watched a video or checked out our facebook, twitter, youtube or instagram page please use the following links to do so and like or subscribe if you feel called. Each of us are all so very different, expressing the divine in our own unique ways but the one thing we all have in common is love. We all just want to be love, to give love, to receive love and we get to. Come home to yourself, to the light, and let your life be lived in love. It really feels so good. #lovesvoice #lovemob

The Love Mob on Youtube

Instagram @lovemobnow

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Life of Star

At the age of 24 I had things. A lot of things including a beautiful home and a new convertible Benz. I was married to my high school sweet heart and we had two little boys. I ran a successful insurance company fresh out business school. We took vacations, and bought what we wanted. We had achieved the American Dream. And yet there it was, the truth, I hated my life.

I came from very little except a wealth of deep of wisdom in my mother, that sprang forth despite her circumstances, leaving me with the seeds that would ultimately bloom later. My father had taught me how to live in “reality.” He kept telling me reality was going to slap me across the face one day so I listened to his well intentioned advice to avoid this but in the end he was right. An enchanted little girls dreams shattered when I realized she had been told lies. That having things and money meant happiness. That living with someone that doesn’t make your heart sing everyday was duty because “you're married.”

I had always believed that if I could do it so could everyone else. I believed if you worked hard enough you could have what you want and need just like most people still do. I sat in judgment of those who couldn’t seem to get it together as I compared them to me.

But somewhere inside me was a deep unhappiness. Constantly stressed about work, falling behind on bills or losing all that I had attained. My reputation and image possibly tarnished by falling into bad credit or a lack of enough credit to cover up this insecurity. I was dying inside. Wanting only to be loved, to be appreciated and surrounded by goodness, it seemed instead I never really felt any of that. Not by others and definitely not by myself.

I knew there had to be something more. I had no relationship with a higher power. Only half-admitted that there might be one and calling it God wasn’t going to work for me. Somehow, although unconscious at the time, I was asking for more truth. In a moment of despair I asked questions that changed everything. What was this really all about for me? Why was I born? Because like Oprah, at a very early age I knew I was born to do great things.

It was only years later that I understood that God was gracious enough to come into my life at that moment showing me what was needed and what wasn't so I could be whole. You can be sure that the things went away and so did the car. The so-called friends and caring relatives also had to go, a few in one day. Then the husband in a fit of his own unhappiness, freed us from our cage. We were separated a month later and the spiritual journey back to myself was begun.

I was set on fire. My world was turned upside down. Everything I thought I knew was becoming more and more unclear. God removed all that didn't belong to me so I could sit with that which is. It took me several years to see this for the amazing gift it was. I first believed I had failed. I had done something seriously wrong even though I was beginning to feel a lot better, despite the chaos.

I have had to make huge sacrifices on levels that most would never consider in order to find my salvation, mostly because I was too stubborn to let go of the past willingly. Despite this I am redirected and perfectly guided at every turn. Protected and provided with everything I actually needed to live and I learned that this was in fact very little. I need only a backpack of things as many things weigh you down and cause worry. A car had kept me in constant isolation whereas the bus and the train allowed me to meet wonderful new friends and spend more quality time with my children. I learned that not everyone is like me and can’t do things in the way I do them. That because of this we all must have separate paths to walk and how boring it is when we all attempt to walk the same one. I learned that happiness breeds happiness and it started within me. Loving myself was the basis for all good living. That vulnerability wasn’t in fact a weakness but an opportunity to grow and sustain greatness. 

I had to basically unlearn all that had been taught. Like a phoenix I had to burn into nothingness in order for me to begin to rise again in an authentic way. A way that comes from my heart and not the predetermined order of society.  A way that inspires and uplifts the masses to love and gives permission to others to find their own truth. I am still a work in progress and the journey still continues but I walk slower with faith that I am loved more than I could possibly imagine and that gives me great strength to continue.  

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Nature my teacher

Sounds of Waves
kiss the beach
Murmur of exhalation
as our Beloved breathes

Particles gather together
Welled up by love
To make a wave
On a beach far away

Nothing is ever separate
Not seemingly so isolate
In love we eternally fornicate
A copulate to procreate

Breast milk before a babe
Finances before deed
To do before bloom
Is to plant a little seed

Nature my teacher
revealing my essence
allows me to see
Im surrounded by blessings

Monday, April 15, 2013

Abiding In Love With Myself

Had to share. A wonderful Mantra for these times. Thank you Dr. Golden!

"From this moment forward with all the power of my being, I choose to remember the truth about myself. I refuse to indulge in the lies of criticism, inadequacy, guilt, shame, and judgment that others have generated and that I HAVE MADE UP IN MY OWN MIND. I refuse to indulge in that which is not eternally true about me. Today I make the decision to abide in the love that lives in my heart so that it is possible for me to experience true love for myself and all humanity."

Dr. Golden

Monday, February 25, 2013

The new

We all talk about doing it in a “new way" or inviting in "the new” but what does this all mean and is it even possible or are we patterned conditioned beings that just do things in a habitual way? How important is it really to venture out of our comfort zone? I wondered what things are waiting right under my nose for me to potentially discover, so I take the challenge and write to answer this on a full moon in Virgo. This is a day of shedding the old skin to make way for the new and I set out on a mission to live a day in a new way.

I began a lemon juice/cayenne pepper/maple syrup cleanse yesterday morning in preparation for detoxification. Never mind that I ate pizza with my boys and followed up with cookies my mother had baked earlier in the day. What was I thinking? So back on it this morning of new beginnings, attempting to spend the whole day doing new things, cleansing my body, and meeting new people.

I did begin the cleanse again this morning as planned proving that my intentions are good. I didn’t have my usual cup of coffee but instead made my lemonade and took a walk early in the day. I then decided to catch the bus and head downtown to find some new things. I instantly gravitated towards a coffee shop I have been to before in the cozy corner I have sat in before but instead I ordered tea and a vegan power muffin that I know is not part of the cleanse but just sounds well, delicious, and I was hungry! Oops, once again I have slipped into patterns but I can be proud that I made new decisions in the midst of it all and that was to have tea instead of the quad shot caramel mocha and non-vegan raspberry scone I so desperately wanted to have. And well, its nice, light and I didn’t feel anxious or jumpy afterwards which is lovely.

So now I am onto a vintage shop that I have never been to and I’m going to sit with a meditation group I have never gathered with and maybe some other wonderful new thing/place/person will appear before me along my journey. I open myself up to such an experience.

The journey is the destination and it can be whatever we choose. In each moment we get to choose to try things in new ways or in the same patterned way we have done them before. I think the important thing is simply to enjoy it. At times, invite in the new, at others, let the nostalgia of the old rock you to bliss but it seems today in the balance of doing both I personally have found the most joy as of yet.  I invite you to find new experiences by dedicating a day, a week or month to trying something very new to you or to simply enjoy the same choices with a renewed curiosity.

Many blessings to you on your journey and discovering new experiences!


Monday, January 28, 2013

Free to Be

I can handle all consequences
Ive got to know the Truth
Ive got to follow my senses
I need only a little proof

Suffer only in desire
Devoid of the fire
Ambiguity be gone
Off with the head of a liar

I fall into the dark
In order to find the light
I bathe in a sea of mystery
To find all the pieces of me

Blend experience with feeling
Ignore mind’s need to be heard
Wisdom my best friend
Im guided at every turn

What called my name
Into the nothingness I see
A paradox of space
I am free to be

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


I try to write about love and I am left render less as it can not be captured. Can't be described. My fingers cant move fast enough to type it. The pen stops working and the pencil breaks each time I attempt to capture the timeless. I am left with only a feeling. Freedom. Yes. Peace. Definitely. Joy. Certainly. And yet I can’t define it, identify it or place it in a display to be examined. It is beyond the current paradigm, can be tasted in silence, but one must outgrow this paradigm in order to truly experience it of that I am assured.

It can’t be said that it will be easy to change everything you thought you knew about how things are. Which is why most choose to stagnate over growing. Choose to embrace what we can see with the eye over our intuition because it has a foundation. It takes work to walk away from your beliefs and conditioning. It means sacrificing comfort and security. It goes against our deeply ingrained instincts of survival and yet there it is, something more, and we can feel it.

There is an understanding that there must more to all of this than what meets the eye. We dream at night, experience déjà vu and have “feelings” about someone right before they call us. We can feel the wind on our face even though it is invisible. There is so much about the Universe that we don’t understand and yet we are here, living in the perfect environment for life to be sustained. A miracle in itself.

I almost missed it. I have been allowing reality to take precedence over my own true nature. I have been consumed with consumerism and lost in noise but somehow I still knew it wasn’t the whole picture. I needed to know the Truth. When I slowed down from the go go, do do energy field of our current model, to a much calmer, poised pace I could taste it. The more I can taste it the more faith I have in it. The more faith I have in it, the more Love can move through and expand.

I love the sound of crackling in my head, like rice crispies meeting milk, as I am being stretched and expanded in awareness. I can feel God reaching his hands through me and gently pushing me out of limited thinking. I can hear the roar, the fierce harmony playing as background sound growing louder. I surrender over and over again to this presence. A continuous flow of joy guiding each movement.

This is love. An experience. A verb. A way of living. A reason to celebrate. When I finally saw this I knew I could confidently take my hands off of the steering wheel, seeing clearly that I was never driving anyways and get the heck out of it's way. Love is fierce and it is what you are and have always been! This is all we need!

May you love more in 2013!! Many blessings to you and yours!