Saturday, September 19, 2020

Shero: A New Definition

Today I wake up with doubt about a woman I held great respect for. As I have lived and grown it has come before when someone I believed in, was not who I thought that they were. A consequence of a narcissistic society that allows false and harmful information to be propagated with no course correction. All of us left in doubt as to who can be trusted. Who can we know for sure holds our best interest? Was justice Ginsburg a woman of moral integrity or a secret enabler of corruption? Was justice Ginsburg the shero I believed her to be or only another pawn used by patriarchy to encourage woman to play by men's rules? Were her efforts heroic or will we look back in 40 years and be resentful of such woman that pushed us to be like men? Forced us by way of example to fit into men’s systems, laws and rules that never included us to begin with? I am assured she lies somewhere in the middle. A human can not be summarized by only one story. There are many sides to a person’s life and I wonder what the other side of the story is for justice Ginsburg given the timing and nature of her passing right before the election. 

Her life today is to be celebrated. What a feat for anyone. If you ever watched the movie “on the basis of sex,” you know what an inspiring story of not only a Harvard lawyer graduate but of a mother who did it with a toddler and the beautiful love she shared with her husband. The sacrifices she made cannot and should not be ignored. 

However, I sit in question of the responses from women and feminist pages today in remorse. Seeing the dialogue. The comments. The conspiracies that range in variety and an almost blind eye to what they are communicating. Is it possible that this was a cover up or a staged event just in time for an election or indeed a natural cause of death? She died on a significant holiday for Jews called Rosh Hashanah. I have been questioning the zionist jews that exist in our government and created textbooks for our schools. And here is another jew that I had not even looked at, because she was a woman I respected and admired. Did you she work with a hidden agenda that we are not aware of? Was she only one of ‘them’ after all?

I don't require answers to these questions now as I know they will reveal themselves in time, but this is my take away today from these events. Her way is not my way. What she did, I do not need to do. Do I admire what she did? Sure, of course. Women did what they needed to do to survive in a man's world. Played his game, got their level of education, climbed their ladders, learned their rules, made a few new ones and left women of the world with what exactly? Is her model, her way of living, her accomplishments what all little girls should strive for? If you ask many feminists, they will insist that we must get our needs met.

Is that true? Haven't women been fighting tooth and nail for many years for basic human rights of bodily autonomy only to have that now challenged again by the trump, republican administration? Do they have even the right to make a law about a woman’s body and if so don’t women break their laws anyways to get their needs met? Does this force them into an unsafe situation, of course. But what do men really know about this and why did women give them permission to tell us if it was ok or not in the first place? We give them permission by fighting against it, agree to it, validate it by participating in just the attempt to ‘resolve’ these unjust laws.

My point is this:


This photo was shared on a feminist page reminding 17,000 women what little girls should aspire to be. To be a feminist, a woman should aspire to a man’s rank in his institutions? Is this worth our daughters efforts, time, and energy? To fit into a man's box, his definitions and guidelines? To do things the way he designed and continue to exist and fight within patriarchy for handouts? Crumbs? Favors? Like the millions of ancestresses that came before us have for the last 7000 years attempting to reclaim equity? Think they tried hard? Worked hard? And how far are we really from where the women’s movement began?

To be better than men so we can outdo them and win at all costs? Why do women play this game?

Sacrificing our time with our children and our beloved, less love making, to make men’s laws more just is our purpose? Did she serve women and girls or give us a false target to aim for? Because the truth is, after all those years of 'service' women are not much better off, still no era or even close to being paid equally, and are not in charge to make the needed changes our world needs.

After joining many women's group, feminist organizations and aligning with female political agendas I felt defeated. Only more of the same and the quick attempt to put women who disagree with their ideas back into their place, not let them take up space as they claim. I found more masculine operating principles and new ways we can 'fit in' to the current system, as it is. How many times I heard, "because this is the way it is," "This is how we do things," "This is a woman's way forward," I couldn’t hide my cringe any longer. Is it? I beg to disagree.

I beg to argue that women like justice Ginsburg, did a great disservice to women and girls, despite my love for her, because she did not show us anything new or create anything new for women. She learned to fit in well. She did it their way and was not even hired after graduation. Instead of starting her own practice with her coveted Harvard degree, find other woman to work with in the same position, pioneer her own practice to fight injustices against women, she worked for the man, waited patiently for him to offer her an opening into their world. She could have used that intellect and wisdom, tenacity, hard work, for herself, for her daughter and the girls of the world. But instead she made deals with the devil, fought her whole life in a white males world....for what? To be remembered a shero by patriarchy for her service to it? What is her true legacy I wonder today.

I know her presence empowered women to get out of complacency and care about important societal issues, to feel empowered to boldly move into government, policy and law making and for some that was needed. I've considered law school since I was 12. But the truth is I loved being a mother which came first. I loved the time in between things, the rest, the self-love that one finds in peace. I could never put that second best to trying to get just right and maybe come away with a few small victories. I trust women could make a bigger difference being woman than trying to outdo men or meet them on their level. Maybe this is why there is such a push for it from even the most admired feminists. To take us out of our element, our true nature, to be on a ‘level’ playing field with men. Maybe this push is why women haven’t achieved more for ourselves, our children and Gaia. Maybe this push is more patriarchy in a pretty dress and makeup. And maybe it is in our best interest to at least question these motives instead of doing the way it has always been done.

I trust that if women created their own rules and found a sisterhood to support them, we would all be better off. The rules and laws of men, the patriarchal system we inherited is not our responsibility to uphold or fix. Men got it very wrong, some of it on purpose to hold us down, to destroy the environment. Why would we participate in it that all? Why wouldn't we take back our power from trying to get it right for them and claim our own sanctuaries to exist within? What would it be like if little girls looked up to wild women that blazed their own trails, that never could be tamed by the same principles that tamed justice Ginsburg but women in their female, wise woman power? A woman that does it her own way and shows new possibilities that does not include selling ourselves out by way of giving our power to old structures.

This is more than possible, it is happening right underneath the surface of these old dreams. A bubbling up of a new beginning where women and children are centered and peace is protected by women’s designs, plans, and way of living. That is the needed balance. That is the way forward.

Thank you justice Ginsburg for allowing your life to serve as a catalyst for this understanding within me. I honor your life and your presence in mine.


Thursday, August 20, 2020

Presence is the Present


It seems so simple. Too simple maybe for an ego or mind to wrap itself around. When we talk about being freedom, joy or bliss too many attach that feeling to some form of external validation. It was never about living a 'dream life.' Nor getting money, cars, status symbols, or to be an idol for others. It is not even about finding the 'perfect' partner or being a part of a successful community. No these are not the presents life puts on offer for us to get, to make happen or achieve with effort, although one can relinquish their presence, their authenticity, for all those things with ease. You see, they are all a part of a dream and every dream you end up waking up from. What is it that you wake up to? Enlightenment, presence, the only gift needed.

Enlightenment is not hooked up to the dream or attainment. The most devastating blow to my ego. Watching others get stuff while mine was learning it’s lessons made me want to jump back in over and over. I chose instead to trust source, to stay on the side lines, not play their game, not engage their way, stayed vigilant, observant, sometimes patient, and allowed life to continue unfolding, all the way open, no matter how painful.

Egos attain all the dreamy stuff, not souls. A soul, pure presence, when embodied and present, is the only present ever really given to us, the only one we need. Capitalism forces you to sell it out in favor of meeting beauty standards and living up to unreasonable expectations. Money becoming not a tool but a means for security, class and status.

Connecting to another embodied soul, to nature, to a child, to a lover, to an animal are the greatest gifts I have been given. What this life thing is all about. Not the Benz or the houses or the trips, but those moments around a campfire, howling at the moon with beautiful women, creatures of the earth, who reverberate the cosmos with their wombs, and knowing I belong. Not to them, or the moment, but to myself, to the woman who brought Herself to that moment, to find those souls, and to make magical memories that will last forever. 

A sense of belonging it seems is the real magic. That moment you feel at home in your body, at home in yourself. That moment you realize what you feel, can never be taken away from you because it is what you are. Knowing you belong to a partner, to your family, a mother’s unconditional love for her child, those dynamics are beautiful to experience from that sense. To share love, our presence with one another, is the gold.

Focusing on things, goals, money, or dream relationships that don’t ever get messy and only look perfect on the outside, lack depth, and leave us with unmet needs always. It is an empty reality, phony, and then you have to continue faking happiness once it passes to uphold what others think about you and your lifestyle.

That unconditional knowing that you are supported and cared for is wonderful and can be fleeting because life is change, death, and includes endings. So new things can begin. Not all things are forever nor should be. But what remains, what is constant, what will go forward with you is you. We always have ourselves. Wholeness. Soul. Oneness that is not divided or seeking other or outer.

This sense of belonging was highjacked by capitalism, religion and new age profits called master coaches. They use trigger words like community, family, tribe, sisterhood, belonging, home to create a need in people to respond to their programs of how to find that which is supposedly missing. However, I learned quickly that Goddess walks out the room when I start talking money. When things or topics meant to create insecurities get in the way of authentic connecting, the flow stops. And through feeling my way through the trials and tribulations She put forth for me to endure, I kept coming back to myself, to presence. What is always here even when no one or nothing else is. What flows when I am not thinking, doing, acquiring or 'taking up space.' The nothingness that breathes. The void of existence. The death of a whole concocted dream based on a narrative in between my ears influenced by corporate interests and ‘necessities’ to survive a nightmare, created by a few, to benefit a few, to control the rest of us.

As the world and its old ways, systems and structures continue to crumble around us, now is the time to be present, to be the present, the presence this world so needs. To just be, breathe and believe a new dawn is upon us.

This time in between is uncomfortable but only for the ego, the anxiety, the energy that needs to know, to be in control, to tell the narrative that soothes and keeps the known nightmare rolling. Underneath that is silence, rhythm, a beating heart, a gaze that could dissolve all the worlds with its unlimited potential to open and contract with a blink of the eye. Developing this power, relating from gnosis of not only self but of others, with others, is the way we move forward. 

Making plans for cars when spaceships are already flying around the atmosphere is antiquated thinking and problem solving. Developing new models of old structures, focusing on what communities developed 50 years ago isn't for us because those things will soon cease to exist. They were developed without presence and attention to care for people and the earth and they require non-renewable resources. New technologies that have been suppressed from society exist, like those that built the pyramids, zero-point energy, formulas based on the golden number and will be used in accordance with a permaculture mindset to build what serves humankind now. 

If you are present with the moments we have been given, this gift of time, of space, of letting go of everything tied to an egoic structured way of living, you are doing good work on planet Earth. Be proud. Sitting around doing nothing and worrying is helping no one. Still running around working, saving people and trying to 'get?' That is your ego. Are you working in the name of being essential? You are acting like a slave. You do not have to hold it up for anybody. You can stop now. That was what we did under torment from industrial interests and corporate enacted slave systems. That is not who we are. 

We do not have to participate in any game. There will always be a loser if you are playing a game. No human deserves to lose. The game was played in such a way to intentionally be dualistic, them against us, right and wrong, black and white, republican and democrat, productive and lazy, the haves and have nots, to benefit those who collect checks from these tales. We do not need anymore rich folks or celebrities to drive ideas and products that feed this divide. Kids do not need to be taught on-line by computers or by themselves with a privately hired teacher by their rich parents. This will no doubt increase this divide. It is time to fall back and let that shit die.

Playing, enjoying life and centering Love in our daily lives is what we are bringing to life. Being present with our experiences, acting on truth and not being swayed by what our neighbors are doing, the media hype or how much money you will make from each activity. Not worrying about what is wrong with the world or what went wrong in the past but envisioning and feeling the future. What does it feel like? What does it look like? What are we leaving in its place?

Clinging to outdated programming, telling stories of woe and victimization, fixing what can't be fixed, working to save someone else instead of looking at yourself, narcissistic vampiric relating and exploiting human energy isn't going to work for you anymore anyways, so let's not continue down that path.

Recognizing the power within to create with source a new world is what is happening. A great awakening. Remembering we are not slaves, not drones for a new world order, and take a stand instead for a meaningful life, a life well lived, is indeed what we are about.

Open your present, look what lies within, feel it, breathe into it, and then breathe in harmony with others and not in defense of them. Presence is magnetic and hopeful Love. It is the present we all deserve to receive. It feels so much better. Yummy. Delicious. Be and you will see you are more than enough. We are all so worthy of this new world and the experience of true relating, connecting, and sharing. Blessed be!

 


Friday, May 24, 2019

Yes Women!

Yes women you get to be discriminatory. You get to set boundaries and only those that would be upset by them are the ones who need them the most. It's ok to put yourself first. It's ok to put your needs wants and desires ahead of everyone else. Women you get to discern what is best for you. You no longer have to take orders and serve a system that was designed to enslave you. You are beyond this world and have the power to change it!

It's cool to challenge the status quo and it's beautiful to stand up to bullies who would steer you into their echo chamber. It's wonderful to witness you when you call out bullshit and draw a line in the sand of what you will accept.

It's acceptable to not be perfect. To be flawed. To not be special in any way but the ways you feel make you so. Yes it's alright that you have preferences and express them. It's ok to not get it right. What you say, how you say it, and or the tone of voice in which you do is fucking fabulous, fuck the naysayers, do you boo!

You get to be big. You get to be bold, and creative, and colorful and gray. You get to be rain on a sunny day or the light of someones life. You get to slide down hills or climb mountain tops. To go as slow as you need to and rush only as often as you want to.

Women it is ok to question the current narrative, to demand a better one, or to write your own. It is brave to say no and not now and not ever if you so choose and it is equally brave to say you will. To give your all, to go all in, to give it everything you have if it has meaning. Pain and joy are yours to experience, to stretch you and expand your soul. Go boldly towards that which makes you laugh and cry at the same time and leaves you dancing under the stars with your bestie or making love in the sand.

Take time for you, your inner silence. Take time for the muse to unfold and weave a new dream. You are allowed to embody this experience as you are, never succumbing to the demands of others that you be other. Know who you are so no one can ever define you. Reach deeply within your own womb of wisdom and discern your own way forward. Never let them tell you no, or that you are too small or too emotional or too angry or too weak. You are a divine being meant to share your gifts with this world. Walk with your shoulders relaxed, exhale darling. You are Whoaman. A Creatress. A magical priestess with superpowers beyond our human understanding.

Women are females. Adult human females. Born with reproductive organs that create life that men don't have. It's simple. It's easy. What's confusing is anything that says otherwise or attempts to redefine us.

We will let no such thing happen to us. Not this time.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Sun in Sagittarius


I was born in the house of Sagittarius. Today, I am celebrating my birthday. I always have felt awkward about my birthday. Seemingly needing it to be special somehow and yet never really making a big deal about it. In the last few years though, my birthday has become my "New Years." The day I reflect back on my previous year and set new intentions to fulfill in the next one. A day to take inventory of where I have been and where I am going. I get to remind myself of my accomplishments, celebrate them, myself and also the new commitments that I make for the coming year.

Centaurs are creatures of philosophy, learning and discovery and this last year it was all about discovering what I really love and who I get to be. It was the first time I stepped into my role as a leader and facilitator of the work I love. I failed, I stumbled, I was embarrassed, and I was victorious, but ultimately I learned more about what I want, why I want it and truly embodied this wisdom. I spent a lot of time with it. I took time out form 'normal life' and held it, played with it, cried with it, and deeply fell in love with it. I connected to my inner child, listened to her, and invited her in to help me see what was possible for our life through her eyes. I'm so proud of Her!

I have know I was a sovereign being for some time but haven't really acted like it. But this was the year I got to take my first steps as Her. I got to witness my bullshit and my gifts. I got to see how strong and powerful I am and how much that has scared me. I got to face off with my fears about what it means to use my voice. I spoke up and stood up for myself. I got to know what it feels like to be heard and see how I still have work to do when I'm not.

I have been able to live out truths that were only ideas before. See how resilient I am in the face of heartbreak. Cycles of long past came ripping through, triggering me in ways I couldn't have imagined and brought me exactly what I needed to see through to my deepest wound. To acknowledge my fears of abandonment, betrayal, and how I had manifested those type of situations to show me this pain body. And when I got to hold Her for the first time, and cry with her, and thank Her for helping me to heal, I knew soon after that I was free. Like really free. So free that I spent a month in bed, depressed, sad and confused by the newfound empty space.

I trusted I would be filled back up with love, with what I had been desiring. I waited patiently. Took my time integrating. I sobbed every day, deeply grieving the loss of something I had had held onto for too long. It only took a few weeks but suddenly the clouds parted, the sun began to shine in a new way. I had been dismembered and put back together. I don't recognize the woman I was at the beginning of the year. She is a distant memory of someone I use to know but could barely relate to.

The Scorpio season we went through this year was rebirth. The phoenix rose. The wings were felt, flapped against the wind, exhilarated by their potential, and from pure exuberance for life, they continued flapping and it wasn't until I looked down that I saw before me that I had indeed taken flight. Like I had done so many times before in my dreams. Suddenly the life I imagined, the joy I knew existed, the love I vibrated as was all that was. Bliss cascading through my veins and out through every pore, for no fucking reason. A sincere devotion to my life appeared. A deep desire to show up more for myself and others. To become more visible. No more hiding.

This sense that I had somehow broken through or set something down, or left something behind has been overwhelming. A faint memory, a palpable experience that remains in my fascia of an identity that I can't seem to fully recall. It seems we have done great work. We are watching patriarchy, it's systems and leaders falling. We are watching new young leaders emerge who have a different set of  ideals than their parents. We are witnessing and experiencing a true revolution right before us. I know this is true for us collectively because it has been true for me personally and I know all change comes from within.


To grow and expand is the mission of a Sagittarius so I write with great gratitude in my heart for the efforts I made, the growth that transpired and the healing that has occurred. And quite frankly, thank Goddess we made it!  That we somehow forged ahead. That was rough! I've never been more grateful to leave a season behind.

I write with a new sense of whats possible for me in my own personal new year. I write knowing what a real life bad-ass I am and fuck up I can be. However, I do write from a space that allows me to be more vulnerable and forthcoming moving forward.

Because it is safe now.

The climate more tolerable for a formidable force to arise in woman form. In sharing the stories of my defeats, my heartbreak and my own heroines journey of self-discovery, I will remind at least one person of their 'why.' for showing up on planet earth now, remind someone of their truth and need to share it. To activate people to show up for humanity and the living being we live upon. This is why I will share what I have to say and tell my stories.

It is safe for me now to be seen.

I dedicate my new year to the Goddess, to Ma. May Her Queendom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. To true love, my lover and our divine union. To my expansion, my stories, my art and my voice as a channel for the feminine. To my soul family and physical family, strengthening all of my relations. I dedicate my being to Love, to Truth, to music and to justice. 2018...I'm coming for you!!

Blessings for taking this journey with me! I love you!

Friday, October 27, 2017

Fall is my favorite.


Fall is my favorite time of year. It has taken me many years to realize this for myself even though many exciting things happen in the fall, including my birthday. Fall means a certain level of responsibility. The endless summer is over, school begins, new schedules arrive and things begin to feel more heavy. However, the changing of the colors, the crisp colder air, hot apple cider, and a sense of loving myself more is also present. The more I have learned to relax into it’s subtleties, it’s precious time to slow down, restore, reboot, and go within, the more I have fallen in love with it.

Fall always invites me in with open arms, a warm cup of coffee, cuddles me in a down blanket, and allows me to read a book in pleasant serenity. A certain solace seems to come with fall, an unwinding, an undoing of self. The first cool breaths of autumn winds blowing through leaves brings a refreshing reprieve from the heat of summer. It also is a time of shedding, letting go and going deeper within to make space for new things to begin. 

Fall offers a time to enjoy the harvest of what we tended to during spring and summer. An opportunity is offered to renew our bodies and minds. A place to hang our hats for a while, put up our feet and listen to leaves fall as nature perfectly reflects our process. But always after Her moment of full glory in her brightest reds, oranges and yellows before She releases what is no longer serving Her and is made leaner, stronger, for the tests of winter, and the newness of spring. 




To fall back, to slow down is a gift. To fall back in love with yourself, what you love and what you give love to. I resisted this process for most of my life. I always felt like slowing down was becoming lazy, and colder weather meant an unwanted break from my dearest Father Sun’s illuminating rays. I even moved to a much hotter Las Vegas climate to avoid “having to endure it.” I was overjoyed by the sunshine on my birthday that year, in late November, for the first time ever. 

Feeling like I was sleeping more than normal led me to reading up on energy supplements, realizing only a few years ago that that too was my own way of saying, “I don’t want to slow down and go within.” I see that my unwillingness to honor theses natural cycles of being, that were being played out mostly anyways despite my attempts to prevent them, were really my attempts at avoiding myself. 

Mother Nature is our greatest teacher if we pay attention. She clearly shows us our own nature. She gives us all the clues we need about how to live our own lives if we are listening and live in harmony with Her. Her seasons and the moons orbit, give us our greatest clues about the internal and external cycles we too experience. As women, we are given more detailed clues each month about the existence of these cycles.  

We are beings that are connected to a whole ecosystem of life that is bigger than our individuality and has an intelligence far beyond ours. Despite a culture that tells us to keep working at the same pace all year, we are better served when we recognize our own synchronicity with the genius that is life, the biological rhythms, of larger cycles and harmonize accordingly. 

When we choose to acknowledge these patterns, honor them, and live in harmony with them, everything we experience changes. We are participating in the progression of these cycles, we might as well experience them consciously to maximize their potency. Witnessing and participating in life in this way, we become flexible to the ebbs and flows, and gather in strength for the coming times.

Warm sweaters and soup, the kids dressed in their Halloween costumes, pumpkin patches, crisp apples, the smell of thanksgiving dinner and all things fall are welcomed treasures. I love all of it’s beauty including the colder weather and grayer days even more now knowing the closer I get to it, the closer I get to me. 

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Travel as a Lifestyle

Beginning in spring, I found myself on a continuing journey that seemed to have no landing place. My attempts to stay in one place failed me and there was always an invite to some new opportunity, gathering or event to take me to the next place. I set an intention many months ago to travel as a lifestyle. I want to permanently be on vacation. I want to do what I want, when I want, with who I want, as much as I want without limits. To be a free range human being, to thoroughly enjoy this life I have been given, in my way.

To be able to trust myself enough to follow through on this dream despite nagging doubts, has been challenging. Coming up against old stories about the way it should be. At times, reverting to an old world style of believing, that I must be crazy or making some mistake to not be aligning with a more reasonable approach to living. It has been difficult to face the judgement of those that could not understand my path, that would shame me for being me. And yet somehow I am managing this new lifestyle. I am learning, growing, and being stretched into a more authentic expression of myself at every turn. Creating a new world that is in alignment with my values and essence.

Freeing myself and my family from an outdated structure that hasn't served us is the breath of fresh air that I have been desiring my whole life. To experience ease and enjoyment more often than not is for me, the pinnacle of living. I was raised with the work your ass off mentality if you want to be successful, however the harder I worked, the less I accomplished. For me, it has been about slowing down, doing less. Taking more time in between things, to rest, to contemplate, to process. It's been about finding my own time, rhythms and cycles and honoring them. Respecting them. Refusing to honor another's more than mine and standing for my truth.

Having a home base is a part of this journey for me as coming 'home' is the best feeling ever! A place to ground down and find center.  A time of renewal and replenishing my energy. A feeling of comfort, surrounded by my favorite things. In having a home base, I give myself a place to rest my head and hold my soul while it nestles into the slower times. So I have chosen a little abode for our family to settle into to again find stillness while continuing to dream of the foreign lands and mystical journeys that await me.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Full Circle

Life always brings us exactly what we need even when it feels like it has abandoned us. I remember it being so gray that year, dreary, and cold. It was 2009 and I was living in Portland Oregon. I was struggling for the first time in every way imaginable. I was in the dark night of soul as I only realized many years later but at the time I was assured it must of been hell. In the midst of the darkness, sparkling like the oasis of life that it proved to be, I found a beautiful bookstore set in an old home. It became my sanctuary, my solace away from a life I didn't want to live. It held events and workshops with spiritual authors and presenters. I would browse the offerings and think it would be so lovely to one day to be able share something there. My full circle moment came this weekend when I presented Unleashing Her: Invoking Shakti, a workshop designed to support the Divine Feminine rising at this sweet sanctuary called  The New Renaissance Bookstore.

It is truly tremendous what can conspire in a mere eight years. My heroines journey has had more page turners than I would have preferred but it has led to beautiful moments of remembering the purpose of them. In full victim mode that year, feeling like life was against me, not understanding "what I had done wrong" or "why this was happening to me," it was impossible for me from that perspective to see the silver lining.

I had very limited resources for the first time and found that I could sit in the bookstore unbothered for hours and read any book on any spiritual subject matter that I wanted and I did. Then they began offering a free movie on every visit so I could begin borrowing their DVDs of my teachers talks and each time I took one back I could get another...for free! It was a game changer for me to have those resources available, to have that space to explore new truths, and inspire me to keep the faith. I was able to finally see that I was in the middle of a spiritual awakening and my whole world was crumbling with reason, that life was indeed for me, and working on my behalf to raise me up. It gave me hope, it held me up, and allowed me room to grow.

For days before in preparing for the workshop I was to facilitate there, my heart ran over with gratitude that brought me to tears a few times. The immense love I have for my life, the struggles and the joys. I could not have enjoyed the experience as I did if I had not once before sat in that same place, desperate, and hungry for more. I could not have experienced the satisfaction of knowing how far I have come had I stopped at any moment before. Full circle moments like this allow us to feel the aliveness of being human. The ups and downs of the human experience intended to distill the finest spirit. To get to the purity of life. The heart of the matter. To reveal the sweetest being that lies within. Full circle moments are cause for celebration of the growth and learning that has occurred in ones life. A returning home as a changed person. Back to the beginning to begin anew.

So in writing this, I celebrate myself and my full circle moment. The changes I have endured and integrated. I celebrate the rise of Goddess on the planet. The fierce love and compassion for life, the nurturing capacity to evolve a human species into their fullest potential. I celebrate my humanness, my ability to make mistakes, fall on my face and find it in me to rise again. I celebrate the joy of living my dharma. Sharing with others on the path home, the tools that supported me on my journey, is so deeply gratifying. Trust your journey and have faith, your full circle moment could be right around the corner!

Namaste!