Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Full Circle

Life always brings us exactly what we need even when it feels like it has abandoned us. I remember it being so gray that year, dreary, and cold. It was 2009 and I was living in Portland Oregon. I was struggling for the first time in every way imaginable. I was in the dark night of soul as I only realized many years later but at the time I was assured it must of been hell. In the midst of the darkness, sparkling like the oasis of life that it proved to be, I found a beautiful bookstore set in an old home. It became my sanctuary, my solace away from a life I didn't want to live. It held events and workshops with spiritual authors and presenters. I would browse the offerings and think it would be so lovely to one day to be able share something there. My full circle moment came this weekend when I presented Unleashing Her: Invoking Shakti, a workshop designed to support the Divine Feminine rising at this sweet sanctuary called  The New Renaissance Bookstore.

It is truly tremendous what can conspire in a mere eight years. My heroines journey has had more page turners than I would have preferred but it has led to beautiful moments of remembering the purpose of them. In full victim mode that year, feeling like life was against me, not understanding "what I had done wrong" or "why this was happening to me," it was impossible for me from that perspective to see the silver lining.

I had very limited resources for the first time and found that I could sit in the bookstore unbothered for hours and read any book on any spiritual subject matter that I wanted and I did. Then they began offering a free movie on every visit so I could begin borrowing their DVDs of my teachers talks and each time I took one back I could get another...for free! It was a game changer for me to have those resources available, to have that space to explore new truths, and inspire me to keep the faith. I was able to finally see that I was in the middle of a spiritual awakening and my whole world was crumbling with reason, that life was indeed for me, and working on my behalf to raise me up. It gave me hope, it held me up, and allowed me room to grow.

For days before in preparing for the workshop I was to facilitate there, my heart ran over with gratitude that brought me to tears a few times. The immense love I have for my life, the struggles and the joys. I could not have enjoyed the experience as I did if I had not once before sat in that same place, desperate, and hungry for more. I could not have experienced the satisfaction of knowing how far I have come had I stopped at any moment before. Full circle moments like this allow us to feel the aliveness of being human. The ups and downs of the human experience intended to distill the finest spirit. To get to the purity of life. The heart of the matter. To reveal the sweetest being that lies within. Full circle moments are cause for celebration of the growth and learning that has occurred in ones life. A returning home as a changed person. Back to the beginning to begin anew.

So in writing this, I celebrate myself and my full circle moment. The changes I have endured and integrated. I celebrate the rise of Goddess on the planet. The fierce love and compassion for life, the nurturing capacity to evolve a human species into their fullest potential. I celebrate my humanness, my ability to make mistakes, fall on my face and find it in me to rise again. I celebrate the joy of living my dharma. Sharing with others on the path home, the tools that supported me on my journey, is so deeply gratifying. Trust your journey and have faith, your full circle moment could be right around the corner!


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