Monday, December 3, 2012

Falling in Love

When I was little, I always wondered why they call it “falling in love.” It seemed one would land in love or be in love. Falling seemed to be negative in context like falling down and hurting yourself to me. I wanted something more tangible not in flex. Something I could hold on to and never let go of.

As I have had more experiences I find the feeling of falling in love to be more comforting. I have welcomed it into my experience more willingly as time goes on. Its exhilarating and somehow I want to hold on to the feeling of falling as if such thing was possible. But what is it that is so alluring about this state? Why do people love falling in love?

A lack of resistance. Free falling into freedom. Its as if suddenly the problems of the day before suddenly disappear. There seems to be nothing in the way of you and your dreams. A sense of having it all settles in, it feels so lovely and surreal. The feeling of free falling seems to be the thing that we all want. The honeymoon period we experience with new relationships when every little thing the other one does is the cutest thing you have ever seen. Endearing somehow despite its quirkiness.

But then the little me comes in and resists the same things I fell in love with and we fall out of love just as quickly as we fell in. How come all of those endearing qualities become the most annoying things within such a short amount of time? Why do the majority marriages fail? The feeling of falling is replaced with a thump by the hard ground you found beneath you. What determines the time in free fall status and what yanks us out of this bliss? How can we avoid losing this sense of freedom? Only some of the questions that have plagued my mind when it comes to Love.

In my discovery I found that it was because my ego still needed a job or to find a problem with my mate in order for its survival. Nothings changed but somehow I can spin the most amazing stories about why a relationship won’t work. I can find fault with every detail of the person. Because without resistance to what is the ego can not exist. It has to be resistant to what is. It has to find a problem to solve. So despite my great intentions for partnership and commitment, the survival mechanism in me takes over and finds every reason to put my Nikes on and go back into isolation. To move me away from the ecstasy of falling to the harshness of feeling alone again although I know deep down this is not true. How frustrating!

As I have moved away from the chokehold of the ego, understanding that it is not who I am, I keep finding more and more of this feeling of falling without needing another person. As the ego loses its power of influence over me, I can free fall in all aspects of life. I am not dependent on someone loving me or another to fill up some part of me in order for it to happen. It allows me more freedom to be joyful and to share this with another instead of seeking it from another.

This is what agape is. The outpouring of love without any sticky attachment or neediness. Giving without any expectation of receipt and it definitely feels like falling. I am finding more solace in living without resistance to what is and in that experiencing life in full motion, fully realized. The truth is we are free falling at all times. It’s the flow of life like a river always flows. It is our true nature and only in the grabbing onto something, do we find discomfort. It pulls us away from the flow of life and gets us stuck in mucky relationships and situations. 

We only need not resist which way it decides to move. Get out of the way so we can be moved into opportunities for growth and more peace within. Let go of any worries of the mind, but instead feel, embrace and nurture the relationships we are blessed with. That is where true love lives. 

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