Full Circle

Life always brings us exactly what we need even when it feels like it has abandoned us. I remember it being so gray that year, dreary, and cold. It was 2009 and I was living in Portland Oregon. I was struggling for the first time in every way imaginable. I was in the dark night of soul as I only realized many years later but at the time I was assured it must of been hell. In the midst of the darkness, sparkling like the oasis of life that it proved to be, I found a beautiful bookstore set in an old home. It became my sanctuary, my solace away from a life I didn't want to live. It held events and workshops with spiritual authors and presenters. I would browse the offerings and think it would be so lovely to one day to be able share something there. My full circle moment came this weekend when I presented Unleashing Her: Invoking Shakti, a workshop designed to support the Divine Feminine rising at this sweet sanctuary called  The New Renaissance Bookstore.

It is truly tremendous what can conspire in a mere eight years. My heroines journey has had more page turners than I would have preferred but it has led to beautiful moments of remembering the purpose of them. In full victim mode that year, feeling like life was against me, not understanding "what I had done wrong" or "why this was happening to me," it was impossible for me from that perspective to see the silver lining.

I had very limited resources for the first time and found that I could sit in the bookstore unbothered for hours and read any book on any spiritual subject matter that I wanted and I did. Then they began offering a free movie on every visit so I could begin borrowing their DVDs of my teachers talks and each time I took one back I could get another...for free! It was a game changer for me to have those resources available, to have that space to explore new truths, and inspire me to keep the faith. I was able to finally see that I was in the middle of a spiritual awakening and my whole world was crumbling with reason, that life was indeed for me, and working on my behalf to raise me up. It gave me hope, it held me up, and allowed me room to grow.

For days before in preparing for the workshop I was to facilitate there, my heart ran over with gratitude that brought me to tears a few times. The immense love I have for my life, the struggles and the joys. I could not have enjoyed the experience as I did if I had not once before sat in that same place, desperate, and hungry for more. I could not have experienced the satisfaction of knowing how far I have come had I stopped at any moment before. Full circle moments like this allow us to feel the aliveness of being human. The ups and downs of the human experience intended to distill the finest spirit. To get to the purity of life. The heart of the matter. To reveal the sweetest being that lies within. Full circle moments are cause for celebration of the growth and learning that has occurred in ones life. A returning home as a changed person. Back to the beginning to begin anew.

So in writing this, I celebrate myself and my full circle moment. The changes I have endured and integrated. I celebrate the rise of Goddess on the planet. The fierce love and compassion for life, the nurturing capacity to evolve a human species into their fullest potential. I celebrate my humanness, my ability to make mistakes, fall on my face and find it in me to rise again. I celebrate the joy of living my dharma. Sharing with others on the path home, the tools that supported me on my journey, is so deeply gratifying. Trust your journey and have faith, your full circle moment could be right around the corner!

Namaste!

Integrating the Human Experience

As the money rained down over me, laser lights shooting through in multiple colors, with scantily dressed beautiful women all around me dancing, and a song playing that everyone knew, I leaned my head back and thought if this isn't Lakshmi energy, I don't know what is. I was in the middle of Drai's nightclub in Las Vegas at a table with more millionaires than not, the last place I think anyone would think of as being in alignment with Goddess, and yet there she was right there in sin city, with me, in a sexy nightclub, in the middle of the night, teaching me, about true abundant living.

I've spent most of my adult life separating the different parts of myself. I am a Gemini rising and so as I mature, I experience myself as almost two totally different people. I have long been dubbed the "Urban Hippie," as I easily move between hip hop nightclubs and kirtan festivals. I've always considered them separate, compartmentalized as in being in contrast or conflict with one another. Although I guess I can say that I always knew they weren't, I definitely did not saw them as the same movement as clearly as I do as I write this. 

It's fascinated me how I could dance between such seemingly different ways of living with such ease given the nature of my spiritual path. I remember when I began bartending in Las Vegas many years ago, it felt like I wasn't following the path that spirit had intended for me. I kept asking source to use me to make me thy vessel, to allow me be the mouthpiece for the divine and yet I kept ending up in another bartending job without understanding until after a few experiences with guests that began to see that I was being used and in a much more profound way than I had previously understood.

I was incognito. I caught people off guard. They didn't expect some bartender in Las Vegas to drop wisdom on them, they were open and then they would leave implanted with seeds of awakening and go back to where they lived in another city, in another country, and I realized I was indeed being used. In a big way, as a hub, to spread the message of love, to wake up people and to celebrate with them when they were finally activated. I was just busy being in judgement of the position that I was in that I almost missed the beauty of the work that I was actually doing there beyond shaking cocktails. 

I saw then that we don't always get to know the how we just need to know the what and then allow whatever comes come without judgement. So before arriving this time in Las Vegas to work and play I set some intentions to attract more abundance. Invoked Lakshmi, the Goddess of Abundance and Good fortune. I asked to experience abundance in a new form. To breakthrough old resistance to receiving money and allow myself to become a magnet for it

So when I laid my head back and watched the storm of money coming down upon me and saw the beauty that was all around me, I saw Her. I saw my intention be manifested before my eyes. I felt the raw power of Her rain upon and in and through me, so that I too began to overflow. And all of this was because of Her grace. I realized my own oneness with all of the energy. I fully became this energy, no longer in duality, experiencing myself totally in love with the moment. 

In a nightclub, in nature, while having sex, while mopping the floor, while drinking a cocktail, while taking your kids to school, there it is, life happening. The Goddess flowing. The infinite nature of evolution requesting a chance to experience it all. And so I will continue channeling Her divinity wherever I am and have as many experiences as She brings me, and I will love them all, as they are, for what they are because they simply are. To decide what is good or spiritual and what is not isn't necessary. It's all good and it's all spirit!

What if your wounds were serving your purpose?

Our sacred wounds are the entry points of discovery to our soul's purpose. They offer a powerful look into our inner most self, the soul, and the inherent truth that only it knows. Humans have spent so much time avoiding pain, numbing it with anything they can, and attaching to anything or anyone that brings comfort. We have collectively forgotten what it means to BE human, to actually feel, and to experience this thing called life, including what doesn't feel 'good.'  

The Akashic Records are the energetic records of our soul's existence. An abundant resource for our personal sou's journey and that of the collective. In acknowledging our sacred wounds, staying open to receiving healing, utilizing the Akashic records to discern the truth, and listening to our own soul's voice, we can begin to reveal our soul's purpose, and then begin to understand the purpose of the collective soul so it too can be healed. 

Pain is a fascinating part of the human experience. One that we are only just beginning to understand. Our wounds, the way the body stores negative energy when things are too painful, and their need to be witnessed in order to be transmuted are things we were not taught growing up. In modern times, we have been taught for the most part that, "we don't have time for that" when it comes to sorrow, grief, confusion, and sadness. Encouraged instead to get back to work quickly. 

We, as a collective, forgot how to grieve, how to process our deep emotions, and how to adequately integrate painful experiences into our lives. We have become less and less connected to the planet and earth based traditions that honored this part of life. In order to live according to an industrious society's demand, to meet the needs of others and work, we have had to put the difficulties we've experienced in our bodies, store them, keep ourselves from feeling them. Because allowing ourselves to feel it, could feel like the beginning of the end for us. Too much. But the truth is we are never given more than we can handle.

In freeing ourselves of stored emotions, of being ran by our wounds and the stories that serve them, we can rest in our natural state of peace. In accessing the parts within us that have not been resolved, we allow more of who we really are, our souls' perception of us, to be expressed. What is emptied out, must be filled back up by nature's law. So as one moves through their 'stuff' and opens up more space in the body, there is then room for more of one's real self. The pain is the only thing in the way from us experiencing wholeness, being in alignment with our soul, it's greatest intention for our life and enjoying it. 

The Akashic records contain all of life including our soul's purpose of being. They also contain our collective wisdom. In praying to Lords of the Akashic records, working with your helping spirits, the ascended masters, teachers and our loved ones, we can access this sacred wisdom and be enabled to share it with others. I call them downloads. Like a reading through an entire file cabinet of information, a 3000 page book, in 30 seconds. We can tap into a higher knowing, understand life, our soul's truest voice, and begin sharing that wisdom, channeling it and the wisdom of the collective, into the world. 

And this my loves, is the purpose of why we came to earth school. To know love. To get closer and closer to an understanding of one's self. What is love? In order, to know this we must know the opposite. The reason for duality, the purpose of this world. One can't truly know love until one knows pain. One can't truly understand forgiveness, compassion, empathy if one can not have it for oneself, in our bodies with all of our human imperfections.

We are limited by the five senses in our ability to experience all of ourselves, but we can get closer through this experience by inviting it all in. The 'good' and the 'bad', the rain and the sun, in the same way. No resistance. But instead by leaning in to experience what is, even allowing our sacred wounds to be opened, to be felt, and then to be willing to accept all consequences, to possibly become undone, to fall apart, to 'lose it', because in that, we are open to receive it. What is really for us! A new story that serves us and one that does not cause suffering.

We can try ignoring the trauma, denying the betrayal, deflecting the rejection, quieting the 'not good enough' story we hear. We can try self-helping our way out of it, 'fixing' ourselves because there is something 'wrong', trying to overcome our 'issues'. Or we can accept what is, look at the resistance, the story that is keeping us from having what we know deep down we deserve, feel whatever comes up, and explore it as an opportunity to learn, grow and embrace a new way that brings joy, happiness, peace of mind, and love. This is our birthright. This is why we are here. You are a soul having a human experience, it's time to remember that and act accordingly.

We are in the middle of healing 'big' collective pains. Slavery, genocide, discrimination, warfare, abuse of all kinds, trauma, incarceration, our own Mother who's been ignored and polluted and Her pain. We are in the midst of removing toxicity from the planet. This is occurring because people began removing it from themselves. Avatars, light workers, starseeds, earth and star tribe beings that have been changing their DNA by eliminating toxic situations, people, foods, chemicals, and stored emotions from their lives. They have been accessing higher consciousness, disciplined in daily practice to stay grounded and centered, working with healers, and working in the Akashic records to understand the soul and to anchor heaven on Earth. 

I send all my love, support, and positive uplifting energy to you as we do this big work! Your soul is magnificent and glorious, keep shining your light, extending your kindness, and offering forgiveness as it is needed, for ourselves and others. We are spiritual warriors shifting the energy of the collective and I am proud of the way we are showing up! So blessed are these times, so blessed are WE!

Namaste!

A day to be Vulnerable

This day has been full of opportunities to be more vulnerable. Quite unintentionally, schedule wise and yet so very intentional and profound. Surrendering to Shakti's flow, I have find myself in a most unknown and yet safely held place. Total freedom to explore more deeply into my own being as I step closer and closer into nothingness. Like giving birth, to myself. So today, I did a nude photo shoot outside on a hilltop, did my first live facebook video, and took a vocal tuning lesson all before driving my son to his 4:00 drum lesson.

Being vulnerable in person isn't really an issue for me. Most people would say I am an open book and probably overshare in some cases. However, allowing myself to be seen on video, heard on recording, or exposed in some other light, brought on great fear. It seemed after awhile to be an unwanted experience but I knew deep down it was my way. When attempting to use my voice to perform, or confront someone, a noticeable shaky voice, a dry mouth, raising heart rate, could always be noticed, especially when singing. To the point that I would tell my theater directors when I was little that it felt like I was being choked out by a scarf, and they had to mike the girl with the loudest mouth when I sang my solo because no one could hear me.

These vivid moments from my childhood stand out because even then I knew something was off and it was very confusing and it caused me to back away from the things I loved doing because I didn't think I was good enough. Fast forward to about 4 years ago when a shaman removed a snake from around my neck. She knew nothing of these childhood stories. I knew then that I had a powerful voice and that I had been stifled from using it.

In stepping into my own power, it means being vulnerable. Allowing myself to be seen, to be heard to be felt and being willing to take whatever comes from it. Taking this risk has been a long time coming. I had stored emotions in my body that blocked my authentic sound from emerging from me. It seemed I was always blocked somehow. I used this as an excuse that I wasn't any good and ought to leave it for better singers. But I love singing.

So I have kept pursuing it, in the shower, in the car or in my bedroom but never singing publicly or without inhibitions. It's been years since I took a lesson, only did so because I wanted to have a clearer speaking voice. Showing up in the teachers space, I could feel all the anxiety bubbling up in my solar plexus. I allowed the tears to fall immediately as I met with her and told her about my past experiences, my fears, the energetic blocks, the remaining vulnerable soul that would love to be able to use her voice for good.

She immediately clued into a con caving in my ribs near my heart that had received a lot of energetic rolfing in the past. She could feel there is still some pulling and recognized my block almost immediately. As soon as I paid attention to it, opening up my ribs to make more space for the sound. Energy began moving out of it with loud rumbles similar to being hungry every time I expanded my ribs in a new way. I could feel the stored energy escaping. Realizing where I had been holding back, holding it in, was empowering. I know through the next few weeks and I continue the classes, enjoy some sound healing and bodywork, I will free myself from the tyranny of theses old, probably ancient, energies of fear around using my voice.

In freeing my voice, I give permission to others to do the same. It's time to let go of all limiting beliefs, stories, ideas, and stored emotions in the body so we can open up to and make room for the things we love. Being vulnerable is where it's at. We only have one life. Why not take it on with everything you have and live a life with meaning and substance? One that offers a freedom from conditioned ways that no longer resonate. In being vulnerable, in facing our fears, in stepping out of comfort and into discomfort, we make way for something new, something we have never had before. Take a day to do a bunch of stuff that makes you uncomfortable, that you've never tried and see where it takes you, what you discover, and what you can create anew from this space.

Here's to being courageous and more vulnerable every day!

Namaste

www.unleashingher.com

Unleashing Her - Costa Rica Retreat - March 25 - April 1 2017

8 DAYS & 7 NIGHTS IN A

SPIRITUAL PARADISE

March 25-April 1st, 2017

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Mobile Mystik Presents:

UNLEASHING HER 

 

with

 Starla & Swig

​

IN NOSARA, COSTA RICA

At a private Jungle Estate

Join in the Rise of the Divine Feminine

Have you heard Her call?

Are you Longing for...

​

 Healing and Self-Acceptance?

A deeper connection with YOUR INNER DIVINITY?

A Space to nourish and honor your FEMININE ESSENCE?

New teachings and practices that support you and YOUR journey?

Are you ready to BE the change you wish to see in the world?If you FEEL ANY OF THESE LONGINGS...

I see you Divine Woman!

I hear you Divine Woman!

And I accept you Divine Woman!

ALL OF YOU!

Reserve Your Space NOW!!

Heart Vote 2016: Our Revolution

History is a story of revolutions. What will this one be called? The Digital Revolution? The Conscious Revolution? I don’t know its name but I know it has begun. People are more awake than ever. The curtain was yanked open and the wizard of USA has been spotted. People aren’t asleep to the lies, the manipulation, or the corruptness that existed on this planet for far too long. A revolution is happening and even if you don’t understand it completely remember all those revolutions in the history books, they started with real, live, confused characters, like you and me. It ends well for us, because despite our confusion, we took a stand, used our voices, our means and our resources to work for a dream that works for everyone.

We can all feel the pull of it but don’t know with whom to stand with or where to stand. Our elders didn’t tell us anything about this time and most of our peers have no idea what we’re trying to accomplish. There’s no road map for us. No laid out plan for how to shift this coming election to favor the people. Families. Communities. But we know it is possible. We believe. We have faith. We trust. That our people matter, the earth and Her resources are sacred and that love is the most powerful energy to exist.

Everyone’s asking questions like how did we get here? Some are wanting to go back. So many are staying in their comfort zones afraid to take a stand. Afraid of being heard and being seen and yet on the inside dying for it. But we are here, there’s no going back and our comfort zones are about to be ripped away from us if we continue feeding a system that does not support the best interests of its people. So we must step into our greatest desire and face our greatest fear by taking a stand. Standing anywhere we can. With our presence, our voice, our silence, our dollar, our vote, our signature, and most importantly with each other.

It was the agricultural, industrial and cultural revolutions, it was the Civil Revolutionary War, the Bolshevik Revolution, and the Paris Commune. It was groups of people standing up to the powers that were, seeking a new form of happiness, a new way of living. It was out of line. Against the grain. Those participating were called rebels as if it was a bad thing to want something other than, to dream something new. But they stood anyways. They rallied with their peers. They came together and they fought like hell for what they knew they deserved. Even discovered a “New World” and made it a reality. However confused they were, they did it. They broke free from tyranny. Together.

This is our time to take a stand. To get out of our comfort zones and use whatever means we have to do things differently for the good of the whole. In whatever way you deem necessary because this is a time of being in the heart and moving from there and what is in your heart may be different than mine and that’s what we need. Diversity. The more love, the more heart we move with, the more beauty we witness. The more array of colors, shades and backgrounds, the more beautiful the image we can create.

It’s time to create the world we want to live in. A world that reflects our values, our ethics, and moral compasses and not those of a few. A world that works for us, those living working, breathing and existing within in it. All of us. Because we are all here together. Now. Living. I invite us to live in harmony. To find unity in every way. Allow inclusion to be your governance and give more of yourself than you ever have to those around you. Be kind. Be gentle with one another and hold each other close.

And on November 8, 2016, if not before, please do take a stand. Stand with your vote. Stand with the majority of people who do not support the current “electable” candidates. Don’t vote for them based on previous logic of “throwaway” votes or votes “not mattering” or voting “the lesser of two evils.” Or any other fear tactic presented to your logic based on traditions to scare you away from voting with your heart.

Vote whomever you choose. Write a vote in. Bernie Sanders, Jill Stein, or Justin Timberlake. Just don’t waste your vote. Don’t make a fear based vote. Vote with integrity. Use your voice right now, because even if it’s not listened to, you will be heard. And the more that we are heard, the more they have to listen. And the more they listen, the more we get what we know we deserve. We agree to a system only with our silence about its methods. And for those that don’t vote or don’t think your vote counts, and it might not, have the courage to step up and vote anyway to spite those that would tell you not to.This time it could make the difference.

This is a heart vote. A self-love vote. A vote for what truly matters. We need you! We need the unique expression your heart has for the whole. Express yourself by showing up and allowing the world to hear us. They are listening. They are dependent on what we do. Us. Not them. We are that powerful. We can shift the world. We can if we choose to.

Choose love. Be a part of this revolution. Listen to your heart and be the change you wish to see. Not what everyone else wants you to do but vote for the candidate that resonates most with your truth. Let your means to influence this change to be a reflection of who you really are. Love. Peace. Truth. And then Let it Be.

Play time is divine time

My inner child is ecstatic! I played so hard over the last couple of months and in particularly the last week at Burning Man, my favorite adult playground! Play is so essential to our well-being. My body’s soreness today a reminder of the hardcore dancing, climbing, bike riding across the playa every day that took me to my depths physically. A reminder of the exploring, adventures and back to back dance parties with my tribe that it endured. Every day was an ecstatic opportunity to let her out to play, do things that bring me joy, laugh, cry, connect and be as silly as possible.

I am blessed to know Burning Man as my home. A place my heart has always known and is happy to return to each year. A place where freedom rings loud and clear. Where each person's uniqueness shines through and each soul reflects back your own unique beauty through their eyes. Their highest self revealed by the last day so completely that you can see illuminated beings everywhere, making everyone appear beautiful.

It is a time when you can burn away that which no longer serves you. Burn through any negative patterns, programs, or beliefs that are holding you back. A week to look at yourself in the most beautiful ways through art, experience and connection. It is a place to celebrate all that is right with humanity and the world we live in. It brings me to the heights of awe at what humans are capable of even when money isn’t the motivating factor.

People spend not only their time, money and resources to go to the desert, be covered in dust, and go through all that it takes to prepare for such an experience but they also create the most extravagant costumes, art, moving art cars, and camps for you to experience, and then burn it down! Lessons of impermanence run deep.

It is a 24 hour city that never sleeps, ever! From the hip hop camp next to us this year that never stopped with their playlists, to our own camp that played house music non-stop the whole burn, the vibrations and the pulsating energy is always present.

I am so free to be me there. I can dance how I want to dance, laugh obnoxiously, talk loudly and it’s accepted! People say hello when they see you or tell you they love you. Sometimes total strangers will give you the most beautiful gifts, like jewelry and others the lessons or words we needed. The playa always provides exactly what is needed. Whatever you want it’s there.

Trying to explain to someone that you followed behind a 2 story Octopus art car made out of junk metal parts of all kinds that was rolling through the playa shooting fire out of it’s moving tentacles, it’s fireball eyes and bumping loud house music, while crying in disbelief is no easy task and often people look at you like your nuts. You can’t really explain the hilarity that exists only there. The quirky and awkward moments of gazing into the eyes of another wandering soul dressed in a penis costume.

Life is peculiar. It’s in interesting. If you let it be. If you step out of your comfort zone and meet people where they truly occupy space, you can witness, connect, and enjoy people and your life more. Let it surprise you, wow you, take over your senses and consume your efforts to control what happens to and around you. Life is so magical, mysterious, and more amazing to me having gone there and experienced the richness of Black Rock City and what it has to offer.  

This burn and what it opened up in me was so special. There were several firsts for me which is so invited at this point in my life. I manifested almost everything that I wanted and more that I hadn’t even considered. I broke through old barriers, did things in new and empowering ways, and got see some of the most beautiful parts of myself shine through when I would have ran away in the past before seeing.

Thank you Burning Man, Black Rock City, the 60,000+ people who showed up, the tribe, the friends, the camp and the playa for being everything my soul needed. Thank you Leslie, my sister that encouraged me to go, was so solid and graceful throughout, and made the adventure something I could never forget. 

I will always value this journey and all that it was.